Mom thanks God everyday that I didn't get a snake
by Jayne Leigh
Summary: It'll be bad enough that he let the fish die on his watch, let alone trying to cover it up with the help of the Deputy Chief of Staff, who is banned from the building. Please review!


**Hey, I felt the need to write a random, fun fic. So here's Josh and Sam getting into trouble! Set some time between 'In The Shadow Of Two Gunmen' and 'The Midterms.' Please review and let me know what you think!**

**Enjoy!!!**

**My Mom still thanks God everyday that I didn't get a snake**

"Maybe we should call Donna for help." Sam suggested.

Josh glanced across at him, looking from the bowl of water. "What can she do?"

"I don't know..." Sam shrugged. "She might know something we can try."

"Sam, you went to Princeton and Duke... I went to Yale and Harvard...I'm pretty sure we qualify to deal with this..."

"We studied law." He pointed out.

"And you think Donna got a degree in animals?"

"Veterinary."

"What?"

"That's the degree...It's veterinary not animals."

"Is a goldfish even an animal?" They turned back to look into the fish bowl.

"Well, this one isn't...Not now anyway."

"You think she's dead?"

"Josh, she's floating on top of the water - unless she's learnt a new trick since C.J's been away..."

"Oh, she's going to kill you." Josh claimed.

"Me? You're going to let me take all the blame?" His eyes widened and he turned his body to fully face his friend.

"You're on fish duty...Sorry, _was _on fish duty."

"Josh!"

"If you couldn't handle it, you shouldn't have said yes."

"I didn't say yes...I had no choice...There was no one else... She didn't think Toby would bother...You're not allowed to actually be in the White House...Donna has more then enough to handle with trying to keep you away from here..."

Josh smirked. "Yeah, she's done a good job with that."

"Josh!"

"What do you want me to do?" He asked. "Just tell her the truth."

"That her fish died whilst I was busy sneaking you into the West Wing?"

"Okay, that's not going to work for me."

"Yeah, thought so." Sam moved towards the door, closing it so no one else could see what they were up to. "Okay, we need to come up with a plan."

"We?"

"C.J is going to kill me! If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me."

"Wow, thanks buddy."

Sam walked around the office slowly, deep in thought. After a few seconds, his head snapped up quickly. "You were shot!"

Josh stared at Sam. "Have you only just worked that out? I was the guy who had fourteen hours of surgery...You may have seen it all over the news..."

"No, I mean we can use it as an excuse." Sam cut him off.

"You want to use the fact that white supremacists with a bad shot almost killed me to get you out of trouble for killing C.J's goldfish. " Josh sat down, looking at him curiously. "Okay, I've got to hear this."

"Right, well we tell her that I was busy and distracted by you."

"Not exactly making me look good though, Samuel."

"That's the beauty of it...We tell her that you got all upset and scared..."

"Scared?"

"And came to the White House..." Sam continued, not bothered by his attempt to interrupt. "So, I was helping you whilst Gale got sick."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"If I was scared, why would I leave my nice and safe apartment to come all the way over here?"

"Ah..."

"And for what reason did she get sick?" He questioned.

"What am I, a doctor?"

"A Vet."

"Shut up."

"Did you feed her?"

"Of course, I fed her!"

"Maybe you over fed her."

"I didn't over fed her!"

"Hmm..." Josh leaned forward to get a closer look into the bowl. "She might have drowned."

"Josh, she's a fish...How the hell does a fish drown?"

"I think it's has something to do with putting to much water in the bowl."

"Really?"

"I think so...I used to have a fish when I was a kid."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I was trying to convince my parents that I could handle looking after a pet."

"What did you really want?"

"My friend Tommy had this really cute turtle but I wanted something cool..." Josh picked up a pencil from the desk. "My Dad took me to the pet shop and I saw this awesome snake."

Sam watched him as he poked the fish with the pencil. "You with a snake, now that's a scary thought."

"Yeah, my Dad thought so too...He convinced me to get a goldfish and said if I could keep it alive for a month then he'd discuss the snake with my Mom."

"What happened?"

He shrugged. "Juliet Morris asked me to be her boyfriend, my sister adopted the fish and my Mom still thanks God everyday that I didn't get a snake."

"How old were you?"

"About five..." Josh replied, standing up still staring into the bowl.

"You had your first girlfriend when you were five?"

"It wasn't serious or anything." He answered, his eyes still on the fish. "Yeah, I think it's defiantly dead."

"What we are we going to do?"

"There's that 'we' again."

"Hey, come on... It's not like you have anything else to do." Sam pointed out. "You can't go to your office...You can't walk around..."

"Why the hell did I want to come here then?"

"I tried asking you that..."

"Ah well..." He walked over to the wall where photos from the campaign were hanging. "Beats being stuck at home."

"Donna's rules still driving you crazy?"

"Did you know she kicked out Toby because he gave me a report to read over?"

"Yeah, I heard about that." Sam thought back to the hour-long rant he had to listen to about how the power had gone to Donna's head. "You know she's only trying to do what's best for you, though right?"

"Yeah, sure it's just..." He started but then sighed. "Never mind."

"Josh?"

"All I do is sit around, Sam." He claimed. "I sit around, flicking through the news channel, trying to catch any little bit of information because everyone's been banned from talking to me about anything remotely connected with work!"

"We just don't want you to over do it."

"It's my job." He said quietly, shaking his head. "I almost died doing what I'm good at and what I love, but now it's been taken away anyway."

"It's not been taken away." Sam claimed. "But you need to recover before you can come back."

"I'm not asking to come back now...I just want to be kept in the picture!" He raised his voice slightly but then groaned in pain and moved his hand to cover his chest.

"You okay?" Sam took a step towards him.

He grimaced as he took a breath but tried to force a smile anyway. "Yeah...Just...I'll be fine."

Sam nodded and watched Josh closely. He had to admit; everyone had been a little protective over him the past few weeks. Maybe if he spoke to Leo, they could come up with some work that Josh would be able to do from home.

"Look, if you help me with the fish then I'll try and get everyone to lighten up on the rules." Sam offered once Josh seemed to get his breathing under control.

"That's blackmail, you know?"

"Take it or leave it."

"I'll take it." Josh answered quickly. "We could just replace it with one that looks like Gail."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Josh, that hardly ever works on TV... What makes you think we can pull it off?"

"We work for the President of the United States...We're intelligent men." Josh claimed. "Besides, do you really think C.J will notice?"

"Well, it's worth a shot, I suppose." Sam nodded and reached over to pick up the phone.

"Who you calling?"

"Donna." He answered. "We could do with her help."

Josh snatched the phone off of him and replaced it. "I'm not meant to be here, remember?"

"You really think she'd get mad at you?" Sam asked.

"Yes, but that's nothing compared to what she'll do to you when she finds out you helped me."

"Oh damn." Sam realised just how much trouble he'd get in to if anyone discovered Josh was in the West Wing.

He actually agreed with Donna; he wanted Josh to stay in bed until the doctor gave him the all clear. How did he manage to convince Sam to send a cab over to his apartment (Donna had hidden the phone from Josh to stop him from calling cabs and ordering pizza) and help him sneak around the White House without being spotted?

"Come on, let's go get this fish."

"Shall we take Gail with us?"

"Well, if you want, but considering her current condition I don't think she'll notice either way."

"I meant for comparing..."

"Sam, it's a goldfish!"

"Okay fine but we should at least get rid of her."

"Yeah having two fish in there might give us away." Josh agreed then looked at him. "What are you waiting for?"

"You want me to take her out?" His eyes widened.

"Hey, you killed her."

"I didn't kill her!"

"Here, just use this." Josh picked up an old take-out box from the trashcan.

He glared at him as he took the box. "Fine."

"Right, now lets get out of here."

"Next time, she can take the damn fish with her..." Sam muttered, pulling open the door and almost ran right into Ginger. Quickly shoving Josh back into the office, slamming the door just as he heard him cry out in pain.

"Hey Sam." She smiled at him.

"Uh, hi."

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, yeah sure...Just you know...Checking on the fish."

"Okay."

Sam watched as she sat down at Carol's desk. "Uh, what are you doing?"

"Oh, Toby's in a bad mood."

"So?"

"Carol is away with C.J, so I'm just going to work here for a while."

"Right, okay...Well, I left something in there." Sam slipped back into the office before Ginger had a chance to reply. He looked concerned at Josh who was sitting on the couch. "Are you okay?"

"You pushed me?!"

"Ginger was there, it was either that or be caught."

"Okay, when it's between being caught or being pushed in the chest after fourteen hours of surgery, the choice is always being caught!"

"Well, now I know."

"Yeah."

"Look, why don't you stay here whilst I go get a new fish." Sam suggested. "Ginger might be out there for a while and it'll be easier then trying to sneak you out and then back in."

"Yeah, fine...I'll just sit here." He leant back against the couch, closing his eyes.

Sam frowned a little, Josh was defiantly not ready to come back to work yet. "Okay, I'll be right back."

"Yeah." Josh whispered.

Sam quietly closed the door behind him this time and looked at Ginger.

"Uh, you won't be going in there, will you?"

"Into C.J's office?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Why would I need to go in there?"

"I'm just asking." He tried to shrug casually.

"No, I'm just going to work here for a while."

"Okay, good." He started to walk away.

"You ordered take-out and didn't get the rest of us any?" She looked at the box in his hand.

"Uh...yes?"

"Sam, are you okay?" She asked. "You're acting weird."

"I'm fine...Great, even..." He started to walk backwards. "I gotta go."

Ginger shook her head and went back to her work.

_XxXxX_

Sam returned an hour later after getting rid of the old Gail and finding a new Gail. He was glad to see that Ginger had left Carol's desk and that there was no one around. He'd just put the new Gail into the fish bowl and get Josh home before anyone caught them.

He sighed when he walked into C.J's office and found Josh curled up, fast asleep on the couch. Glancing at the clock and saw it was almost four p.m, remembering rule number three...Nap time, three till five. He didn't want to wake him up, but was concerned about him after the 'shoving' incident, earlier.

"Josh." He placed hand on his arm.

"Hmm?"

"How do you feel?"

"Tired." He mumbled, refusing to open his eyes.

"Yeah other then that?"

"Sam..." He whined, pushing his face into the cushions of the couch.

"Okay, okay..." He stood up straight, deciding that Josh was just tired but would keep an eye on him anyway.

He put the new Gail into the water and watched as she swam around the bowl, trying to work out if there was any difference between her and the old Gail. He sighed, hoping that if there was, C.J wouldn't notice. It'll be bad enough that he let the fish die on his watch, let alone trying to cover it up with the help of the Deputy Chief of Staff, whilst he was banned from the building.

He glanced over at Josh again, seeing that he was now fast asleep, with his arms held against his chest protectively. He wondered whether he should go and get Donna, just in case there was something more serious wrong with him.

He ran a hand through his hair, deciding to let Josh sleep for thirty minutes and then try and wake him up again. If he still had no luck, then he'd talk to Donna. He quietly made his way out of the office but stopped dead when he heard voices coming towards him.

"Toby, I'll brief you on the damn speech in a minute, I just want to go into my office and sit down for five minutes!" C.J exclaimed, as she turned the corner, coming into view along with Leo and Toby.

"Just tell me, did it go good or bad?"

C.J gave him a long hard glare before noticing Sam standing in front of her office door. "Sam! Hey, are you feeding Gail?"

"Uh, yeah right...The fish!"

"Sam?"

"Hmm."

"Is everything okay?"

"Sure, it's great." He flashed her a grin.

She shared a look with Leo and Toby. "Well, can you move out of the way...I want to get into my office."

"Why?" He asked.

"Because it's my office." She replied confused.

"Yeah sure it is, but wouldn't you prefer to go into Toby's office."

"No..." She said slowly. "I want to go into my own office..."

"You must be bored of your office by now maybe we could switch around... You could take Toby office, I could have yours... Toby could have Josh's...Josh can have mine..." He rambled, noticing the looks he was receiving. "Urgh, not Josh... Why would he need my office... He's not even allowed here..."

Leo stared at him. "What the hell is up with you?"

"The more important question, Leo is what is up with you? Did you have a good flight? Was the weather nice?"

Leo looked from Sam to Toby and C.J then back to him, his mouth hanging open a little.

"There's a problem."

Sam sighed in relief when Donna appeared from somewhere.

"What's wrong?" Leo asked as they all turn to face her.

"It's Josh..."

_Okay, maybe this isn't such a good thing _Sam thought to himself.

"Is he okay?" C.J asked, frowning.

"Charlie went over to visit him and there was no one there."

"Maybe he's sleeping." Sam suggested before he had a chance to stop himself. Technically, he was right…

"No, I gave Charlie my key so Josh wouldn't have to get up to answer the door...He said the apartment was empty." She replied, speaking quickly. "And he spoke to one of his neighbours who said they saw Josh leaving just as they got home... That was two and a half hours ago!"

_This is very, very bad..._

"He couldn't have got very far!"

"They said he got into a cab!" Donna replied. "Where would he have gone?"

_Very, very, very bad..._

"Look, there's no need to panic over it..." C.J said calmly. "He's probably back home already."

"Hey, yeah why don't you all go and check...Like now." Sam suggested causing them to all turn back to him.

"Sam?" Leo looks at him questionably. "Move away from the office door."

"We're not going to go and check?" He asked, his last attempt to save himself, but he already knew that Leo had figured it out.

"Move!"

Sam stepped away and Leo opened the door, walking in with the others following closely behind. When Sam entered, he could see them all standing side-by-side staring down at Josh.

Toby just rolled his eyes. C.J looked mad. Donna looked relieved and Leo looked amused.

_Hmm, maybe it won't be as bad as I thought..._

But within seconds of that thought they all turned and glare at him.

"Can I just explain..." He stepped back a little.

"Go a head." C.J replied.

"Uh, well...Actually I don't really have anything prepared."

Leo rolled his eyes and stepped closer to the couch. "Josh?"

"Ugh..." He opened his eyes a little and then he realised they were all standing there, he quickly sat up. "Hi."

"How you doin?" Leo asked sarcastically.

"I guess I'm busted, huh?"

"Oh yeah...Do I have to put an agent outside your door?" Leo questioned. "Donna, get him home."

Josh sighed and stood up. "Ah well, at least I got further then the front door this time."

Donna followed him out of the office, pausing to look at Sam. "You know, I expected this from him... But you? I thought you were better then that."

"Donna..." Sam started as she walked out.

"He's just been through fourteen hours of surgery..." Leo shook his head.

"Leo, wait a minute..."

"He's been here for two and half hours and all you've done is play hide and seek? Whilst I was working on the Health Care bill... Did it occur to you that whilst he was actually in the building, I could have done with his help?"

"Toby, just let me explain..."

Sam sighed as Toby continued down the corridor, still ranting to himself. He turned to look at C.J.

"Get out my office."

"I'm never looking after your fish again!" He pointed at her.

Remembering Gail for the first time, C.J looked down and frowned, he took it as his cue to leave.

"Hey, Sam…do you think she looks a little..." She turned back but saw she was alone in the office. "Sam?"

**The End**

**Please review and let me know what you think!!!**


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